It’s OK to not be OK

It’s OK to not be OK.

For most of my adult life, I’ve always felt like I had to have my shit together all the time. I constantly feel the pressure to be strong, not show extreme emotions, and be put together with no matter what the circumstance. I’m the friend/cousin/coworker that listens, empathizes, and is supportive. I’ve obviously had moments in my life where I couldn’t keep it together and have fallen apart but I don’t like to admit to those or talk about them when it does happen. But with the current new normal, I am definitely not OK and have experienced a roller coaster (corona coaster) of feelings and emotions in the past 2.5 months; probably more than what I’ve experienced in the past few years. 

We are not programmed to live this new way of life where we can’t see family/friends when we want and where stepping out of the house means you can put yourself or other people’s lives at risk. With this new way of life comes missing out on experiences, missing out on making memories, and missing out on milestones. We miss hugs, physical touch, laughter, companionship, and enjoying a sunny day. None of this is normal, none of this is something we, as human beings, are expected to adapt to and thrive in, and all of this is why it’s OK to not be OK right now. 

You do not NEED to be strong 24/7, you don’t always have to have your shit together & you don’t need to feel bad about not feeling like yourself. It’s OK to admit that you are not OK, it’s OK to cry and it’s OK to have a bad day.  

I know with these emotions also comes guilt because you may think, how can I feel sorry for myself when I have so much to be grateful, but its times like these where it really is important to not worry about other people and focus on yourself. It’s times like these where people want to focus on fixing themselves before admitting that they aren’t okay. Being honest with yourself and accepting that something is wrong is just as important as finding a resolution to the problem. 

Admitting that you are struggling can be hard when all we see on social media is perfection and people thriving during the quarantine. There is a sudden pressure to learn something new, cook something fancy, be extremely productive, lose some weight (FYI, I’ve gained a few pounds) and have the most “instagrammable” quarantined life possible. The pressure to thrive in a time where most of us are experiencing this corona-coaster of feelings makes it harder to embrace these feelings, which in turn makes it harder to move past them. There is immense pressure just to survive right now and frankly, I think that is all the pressure we can handle. 

There is no “right” way to deal with what is going on in the world right now. We are all experiencing some form of feeling overwhelmed & angry, sadness, loneliness, depression, hopelessness, uncertainty etc. Whatever it is that you are feeling, just know it’s OK to feel that way and with time things will get better. We are all human and striving to be happy all the time is unrealistic and unattainable. There are going to be some days where you are motivated to cook an extravagant meal, clean, bake a cake, flex for the ‘gram, and just feel like you are on top of the world. But there are going to be some days where you don’t want to get out of bed, feel lonelier than ever, want to start drinking at 10 am and feel like crying all day long, and that’s okay too, in fact, it’s probably more normal than you think right now. 

It’s OK to not be OK. It’s OK to fall apart. And if all of this feels overwhelming, it’s because it is. 

PS: This article was brought to you by my very own corona coaster, which lasted a few days longer than I would’ve liked LOL.