An Open Letter to all "Non-introverts"
Man is a social animal, agreed?!
An introvert is also a social animal who likes social interactions but unlike extroverts who gain energy from social interactions, introverts lose their energy when they are amongst people. This doesn't mean that introverts hate social interactions, they might very well love it but it drains them out and they often need to come back and recharge before they venture out into the next social gathering.
One of the most common myths about introverts is that 'introverts are shy' well there might be a few introverts who are shy but there are a lot of introverts who aren't shy, introverts can be super confident and extremely talkative. Shyness and introvertedness are two different traits, they aren't synonyms. Extroverts can be shy too.
Another myth is that this so-called “antisocial behavior” isn't normal. Firstly wanting "me time" at regular intervals isn't antisocial; it might not be common but that doesn't mean it isn't normal. There is a difference between common and normal but people tend to use it interchangeably.
This topic takes a serious turn when we introverts aren't given the time to recharge. And it's worst because often if an introvert is not getting to recharge is mostly because people in their personal space aka their family fail to understand their need to do so. I get it, it's probably difficult for a person who isn't an introvert to understand this need to "recharge the mental battery" and hence there needs to be awareness of this, our loved ones need to know what happens when we don't get that mental recharge time. It is lethal when the family members who stay with us don't understand this need, it's torture to get drained at home and then function at zero mental energy at work and often reach a mental breakage point and often have a mental breakdown. For me, the mental breakdown is so often that it has become a way of life (I am not kidding).
The least one can ask from the close ones is to not drain them out by exposing them to the constant presence of people (by inviting neighbors, friends, and relatives over all the time, having impromptu social gatherings at home, etc). Especially with Indians, it’s a part of our culture for everyone to be in everyone’s business constantly and whoever doesn’t want to succumb to that is labeled ‘weird’. We can't control our external environment and hence the introverts have to go out there with fully charged mental batteries but one can control their environment at home and all we ask is basic support from the ones who live with us.
There is zero awareness about this, people don't take this seriously enough, and this lack of mental energy has a huge negative effect on work efficiency. It's high time that introverts get their due acceptance in society, there is nothing wrong in not wanting to hang out with friends every day, there is nothing wrong in not wanting relatives or friends visiting your home without prior appointment or warning, there's nothing wrong in wanting to recharge in quite without interacting with the world, there's nothing wrong in feeling disturbed if you are dealing with back to back social encounters. Introverts need this acceptance, they exist and they have a right to be cut off from the world from time to time so they can come back stronger. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them for feeling drained when amongst people and it's their right to do whatever needs to be done for them to be at peace and not suffer. Also if someone is suffering they anyways can't add any value to society by being present.
There is nothing weird about not wanting to be amongst people all the time. Please stop making introverts feel that there is something wrong with them or they lack something just because they need that "me time" as often as possible. Don't try to change them. Support them!
P.S:
To all introverts: you aren't alone, there are so many of us sailing in the same boat. Talk to your families, explain to them your needs. I'm sure if they truly love you (which I'm sure they do) they'll understand.
To all non-introverts: please give us a break we literally suffer because of your constant judgments that there is something wrong with us for needing our mental space and your forceful social encounters. Understand we need this "me time" for basic survival. Support us. Be human. We genuinely suffer if we aren't allowed to take that breather.
To everyone: Normalize being an introvert.
By Aditi Khamkar
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