An “-ism” To Eradicate

The world we live in is a world of “-isms”… some good, some bad! While the good “-isms” preach us the ways to lead an ideal life, the bad “-isms” hold the capability of piercing their sharp fangs into our lives to add venomous toxins to it— toxins that can ruin our inner-selves and even our complete lives at a larger scale. While there are several bad “-ism”s, there is but one bad “-ism” that affects us all and we have all experienced the toxic effect of this “-ism” in our lives at one point or the other… and it is only fair that we cut loose and try to completely eradicate it from the society for the betterment of each and every person existing in the society as its member.

We live in a world where language supersedes every other form of human expression. And when it comes to language… the word formations take precedence as the most common form of human expression. And, among all the word formations existing in the dictionary, the words that rule our everyday lives and the way the world moves are often words with suffixes and prefixes.

Among all the suffixes and prefixes, there is but one strong suffix— “-ism”, which when attached to any common word transforms its meaning and turns it from being just a word to being an ideology existing in and ruling at least a part of the world, if not the entire world. Some of these “-ism” attached ideologies are good and constructive… while others are toxic and destructive.

Attaching “-ism” to the word “ideal” gives us the famous ideology of Idealism— the ideology that is based on blind faith and belief in the pursuit of perfection. Adding “-ism” to the word “real” gives us the ideology of “Realism”— the ideology that promotes the belief in and practice of accepting a situation as it “really” is, without attaching any idealistic notions to it. Soldering “-ism” with “romantic”(oh yeah! This is something everybody knows) gives us the ideology of “Romanticism”— the ideology that encourages individuals following it to practice romance(adventure) and have romantic ideas that see reality with idyll sunglasses that have hearts and flowers printed permanently on their frame, thus giving us an idyllic picture of real-life scenarios. Attaching “-ism” to “Feminine” gives us the most trending ideology of present times , “Feminism” — one that supports the movement of the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes and promotes gender equality for all genders alike.

And while the above mentioned “-ism”s are a few from the list of what we can classify as good and constructive “-ism”s, we also have a contrasting list of bad and destructive “-ism”s existing in our society. Let’s consider a few of them.

Attaching “-ism” to the word “Race” gives us the ideology of “Racism”, which is based on racial bias, discrimination and, even, harassment. Adding the suffix “-ism” to “Class” gives us the ideology of “Classicism” which is based on ideologies upholding prejudice against people belonging to a particular social class. Affixing “-ism” to “Caste” gives birth to the ideology of “Casteism” which is again based on upholding the practice of exercising prejudice and discrimination against people on the grounds of their “caste”.

But while these bad “-ism”s mentioned above target only a section of society, even though in harsh extremes, there is one form of bad “-ism” that affects each and every section of the society alike. And this lethal form of “-ism” is what is popularly known as “Sexism”— a term derived by adding “-ism” to the word “Sex”, representing the ideology of putting different sexes in different caricatures and judging individuals based on how well they fit in those gender-specific caricatures associated with their “sex”. And since the system of sexism judges individuals using deep scrutinising techniques, it becomes as lethal as cyanid for us not just as individuals, but also as a society, in more than just one way. And so, it becomes extremely important for us, as a society to have it eradicated from our society. But in order to try eradicating it from the society, we must first make an attempt to understand it and all the other aspects associated with it.

What is “Sexism“?

Sexism is defined by Merriam-Webster as “prejudice or discrimination based on sex” or “behavior, conditions or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex.” More specifically, it may be defined as “discrimination or devaluation based on a person’s sex or gender.” In simple layman terms, Sexism can be defined as “strict scrutinisation and discrimination of individuals based on their sex.”

Some people hold the notion that sexism is a socially constructed norm concentrated solely on critical judgement and discrimination of women, with the aim of putting them off as the “inferior sex” as opposed to the “superior sex”— the men!

However, that what must be noted here is that Sexism, actually, is not at all a solely women-concentrated discriminatory ideology. It is, in fact, a systematic and strict discernment and discrimination of all genders alike, based on physical appearances, behaviours, and, life choices— which tend to include career decisions, love-life choices, and, general lifestyle of people as per the rules set up by the society for each of them.

Every individual in our society— man, woman, queer— has to go through systematic sexism at almost every point of life— from “cradle” to “denture and crutches” stage of ones life.

But now the question that arises here is what is “systematic sexism”?

Systematic Sexism

Society, over a period of time, has managed to erect “caricatures of perfection”, one for each gender— men and women, as they continue to more or less still deny giving the benefit of even providing caricatures for judgement to queers.

These caricatures are basically moulds made of expectations of society attributed to the gender-specific ways of how individuals of particular genders should walk, talk, eat, drink, sleep, and, possibly, even ways in which they should breathe.

To put it in a crisp language, systematic sexism revolves around judging individuals based on rigidly set social gender-specific parameters that revolve around all walks of life— from the way one dresses to the career they choose to the roles they play in their family and social circle.

But the sexist judgement is just part one of the process of “application of systematic sexism on individuals”. That what comprises part two of this process is where the real issue comes into play. Any individual, who falls short of fitting perfectly well in the caricature specified for his/her gender is made a target and victim of attacks of sexist discrimination, whereby such individuals are discriminated and harassed in direct and indirect ways for not being able to fit well in the caricature meant for their gender. The sexist discrimination can be either verbal or behavioural or both, depending upon who is at its prime target.

This two step process of sexist approach towards individuals is long and tedious not only for every individual put under the scanner but also for the ones peering into that scanner to judge the person under it, for, to judge a person on extremely rigid parameters is also bound to take toll on all those in-charge of such strict sexist scrutinisation.

But the next question that arises here is that what are these gender-specific parameters of sexist approach for each sex that society has defined and what are the ways they become the ground stone for sexist attack on every gender.

Sexist Parameters and Parametric Sexist Attacks on men

“Boys don’t play with dolls and kitchen sets”

“Boys don’t cry”

“Boys are not scared of others”

“Men are meant to be the bread-winners of the family”

“Men are not supposed to be sentimental”

“Men are supposed to be tough”

“Men who drive vehicles around at a snail-pace are not men enough”

“Men who can’t chug and stomach alcohol aren’t real men”

“Men are not supposed to cook food and clean utensils at home”

“Men need to be muscular and strong… not lean and weak”

“Men don’t use Make-up”

“You are a boy, you must take science and not arts… that is for girls”

These statements are only a few quoted examples of the ways society tries to set parameters for men to behave in a particular sex-specific way.

Society has managed, over-time, to build what we may call “A RULE BOOK OF MASCULINE ESSENTIALISM”, which defines the ways and rules a man must follow and adoptin order to be termed as an “IDEAL MAN”— one who is supposed to be the protector of his clan, one who is supposed to step out of the house to earn bread for his family, one who is supposed to shoulder the weight of his old parents(because his “weak” sisters supposedly can’t even share this responsibility), one who is supposed to marry a decent girl to bear his children and keep the bloodline running, one who is supposed to have a strict aura at home to keep his “wife and children” under “his control” as the patriarchal head, one who is expected to wear tuxedoes and dress-shoes at formal events in monotones of black or brown or blue, one who is supposed to never break-down even during tough times, one who is supposed not to cry even in distress, one who is expected to build a house and buy a car for his family, and a hundred other things specified in this seemingly endless list of “requirements and rules to becoming an ideal man.”

Since times immemorial, our society has been Patriarchal in its nature— treating men as the ones at the apex of social structure, while simultaneously putting the responsibility on them of building an unshakable ground foundation for the society as a strong institution by making them hold eminent positions in the society. And while, it may have mostly put men in a privileged position by vesting all the power in their hands, it would be wrong to not notice the harm this patriarchal system of society has caused them by weighing them down under severe societal pressure.

From deciding the way men must walk taking long strides and not small steps to deciding the career options they must choose to have a career from that suits their alleged “tough” selves… men are bound in the shackles of showing themselves as robust and rugged in most situations and walks of life.

However, that really is not the case. While most men are conditioned to behave according to the rule book made for them, acting to be robust and rugged 24*7 there are men out there who neither are nor behave like “socio-typical” men.

Out there, in the world at large, there are men who are extremely sensitive and sentimental, men who like to cook food and clean dirty utensils to help their mothers or spouses, men who don’t know how to drive let alone drive at a slow-pace, men who don’t drink, men who do not want to just wear monotone tuxedoes but want to experiment with their clothing and style… men who are anything but the ones that can fit in the caricature of norms society has built for them. And these are exactly the same men who get scrutinised for their “abnormal behaviour” and face discrimination for the same— in both verbal and behavioural ways.

When it comes to verbal sexist attack on men, these normal yet so-called “socially abnormal men” get to hear things like they are “pussies”, that they are “women” or “transgender women hiding in the clothes of men”, that they “aren’t man enough to be labelled as one”, that they are a “misfit in the macho boy gangs”, that they are “jhoru k Ghulam” or “henpecked”(if they agree and comply to the demand of their wives) or that they are “mamma’s immature baby boys”(if and when a guy silently complies to his parents wishes), that they lack “Mardangi” or “masculinity”, and so on.

When it comes to behavioural discrimination against men who deny to comply with the norms set up by society, men like these tend to face rejection, exclusion and bullying from the mighty ones in their circles. They are made to feel misfit in circles of rugged macho boys who, willingly or pretentiously, feel the need to stick to rule book made for them to make them feel “man enough”.

Such verbal and behavioural sexist attacks targeted towards these “men who went astray” are meant to try hurting their sensitive human-ego in an attempt to pulling them “back to the right path”, when it’s really not needed, for the path they choose might be different but is definitely not “wrong” in the most manly sense of the word.

Sexist Parameters and Parametric Sexist Attacks on Queers

“Queers”… the term is generally associated with Homosexuals, Transgenders and basically the entire LGBTQ+ community, who are victims of Sexism none less than the “normals”(heterosexual men and women).

To understand their plight when it comes to “Sexism”, we might as well start with the term given to them— QUEERS. The word “Queer”, according to dictionary, means “that what’s odd or strange”. And so you see how the society has subtly yet with strong emphasise reduced the LGBTQ+ community‘s position in society from the very term it associates with them, denying them the right to be considered normal humans by identifying them as “strange” beings existing in society— ones who aren’t even worth being included in the society.

One might then argue, given the above statement, that how can the LGBTQ+ community be the victims of sexism by society, when the society doesn’t even include them in their system? Well, that’s exactly where the sexist victimisation of “queers” begin, for, while the society has made a rule-book for how men and women should behave, the “queers” are even denied the privilege to have one such rule-book that would define their role and behavioural patterns in the society, and, yet they are judged and discriminated none less than those who have a rule-book.

For the simplest reason, that “Queers” decide to define or mould their own sexual identity on to their own terms and make sexual choices for themselves that aren’t deemed “natural” because they aren’t heterosexual in nature, they are looked down upon as insignificant and strange beings in social circles. They aren’t a welcome party, given their variation from “normal” people, among these groups of Normals. The “Queers” strangely become an object of mockery for the “Normals” even as these people try to “run away” from them with the fear of having their “normal” selves being “tainted” by the “queerness” of the “Queers” plaguing their shallow-minds.

They experience verbal and behavioural sexist discrimination all at the same time as people tend to deliberately come face to face with them, to poke them with questions like “how does it feel to belong to the “different” category” with great inquisitiveness while giving them strange looks so as to poke them into feeling out of the place by pointing out their “difference from societal normal” in a subtle yet very strong ways.

These forms of discrimination directed towards queers are just ways to make them feel unwelcome and to apparently “show their place in our world of heterosexuals”, which is wrong given that their choices are no where less normal than the choices of heterosexuals, for, every living and breathing person has a right to make choices of ones own to lead a content life.

Sexist Parameters and Parametric Sexist Attacks on Women

“You are a girl, sit with your knees joined or legs crossed”

“You are a girl. Learn being shy.”

“You May become the President of a country but, at the end of the day, you are entitled to only become a good home-maker”

“You are a woman… you must not speak much in audience of men”

“You are girl, your favourite colour must be pink”

“You must learn to cook and clean, because how else would you cope up with family pressures after marriage”

“Girls that stay out till late on the night aren’t really “good girls”, for, they stay out to attract Male attention”

“Women are Gold-diggers”

“Being a woman and drinking shots after shots of alcohol? Not the traits of a decent girl!”

“You are a woman… you must have an hour glass body shape to ensure that the guys who reach out to marry you,actually do like you”

“She was raped because she seduced the “poor guy” with her red lipstick, short clothes and heavy make-up…”

And these are just a few statements out of a hefty thousand-page book with a million such statements posed at women by the society that seeks to condition women into behaving in a certain way following the rules society has defined for them in their “RULE BOOK OF FEMININE ESSENTIALISM”.

The society says: A woman is meant to not to be extremely ambitious. A woman is meant to be a home-maker. A woman must marry before 30 because her “clock is ticking.” A woman must not lose her “purity”(virginity) before marriage. A woman must not voice her carnal desires at any given point of time, because, if she does so… she is, in fact, possibly a “promiscuous woman” or a “nymphomaniac”. A woman must accept her fate of being “pregnant and bare-foot” in the kitchen of her husband, cooking meals and washing the dirty utensils of the house. A woman must keep her mouth shut while men are talking. A woman must be willing to give up her dreams for the sake of fulfilling the dreams of her family— husband and kids. A woman must not crave to have a seat at the table where only men are allowed. And there are many more such rules society has described for woman in its rule book.

But is this what a woman is meant for. No! A woman, like any other living being, is in-charge of her dreams, desires, ambitions and achievements. She is not meant to be locked within four walls or be treated inferior to anyone. And yet the society wants women to believe they are inferior in their existence in this world by imposing harsh restricts on them and to show them “their true place” in society by resorting to sexist attitudes.

As forms of verbal sexist abuse, women are cat-called, Eve-teased and abused publically. But these are just direct forms of verbal sexist abuse. There also exists a system specially designed for women in the form of indirect verbal sexist abuse, that comes in the form of wife-girlfriend jokes that men seem to love to surely crack in the audience of other men and women, indirectly targeting their own “better-halves”, the sexists songs, metaphors and movies targeted towards women(songs that portrays women as good-gets and/or sex objects) and nasty indirect sexually inappropriate passes made at women at workplaces, malls, restaurants, hotels, and practically every place you can think of. 

When it comes to behavioural sexist approach, however, excluding any form of women harassment from the list seems like a crime, for, rape, domestic violence, acid-attacks, public flirtations, blank calls, inappropriate touches, leaking nudes of girls… all form a part of behavioural sexist attack on women.

Society, however, has normalised this behaviour for it seeks to use each of these verbal and behavioural “methods” of sexist abuse towards women to threaten them into lowering down “their increasing volumes” and to show them “their real place in society”.

Impact of Sexism

Sexism, as we have established, is a destructive and deconstructive ideology that is based on using strict scrutinisation and discrimination of people who fall out of common practices society associates with their genders. And so, one cannot expect to see any good results out of the practice of this ideology.

Sexism and it’s practice— conscious or unconscious— seem to have etched themselves pe etched themselves to our social system, that, it’s now being almost wrongly normalised…. someone passing a comment and comparing someone’s appearance, life choices and lifestyle with that of opposite sex, seems to have become a common script for “hilarious” jokes at every small or big social gathering, for, what else do we humans like more than gossiping and making fun of others who we envy even if we consider them beneath us.

Almost everyone of us faces sexism in our everyday lives— the intensity of it varying from person to person, ranging from being low-intensity sexism to high-intensity sexism.

Sexist jokes men make about heir wives or girlfriends might sound funny, but the dark impact they have on those wives and girlfriends can lead to families breaking apart and/or leading those wives and girlfriend into the dark pit of depression.

While the low-intensity sexism seems not to affect us gravely, even though it aggravates our anxiety and causes stress and hypertension… that what’s worrying is the high-intensity sexism, which leads to its victims facing serious mental health issues— like depression, increased anxiety, panic attacks at the fear of sexism, and even suicides in many cases, for, the high-intensity sexist “insult” tends to weigh down gravely upon them, lowering their self-esteem and crushing their spirit, which leads to them taking such grave steps.

What’s more is that sexist practices we practice are noticed by kids around us. And, so, it tends to also affect the mental health of children who grow up seeing and acknowledging and considering sexist practices like treating the opposite sex with bias as “NORMAL”.

Need to Eradicate Sexism

Having acknowledged the way Sexism operates and having seen the deep and dark impact it can have on our society— on its practitioners and its victims— as it is going towards being normalised, while at same time, forcing its victims into the deep dark pits of anxiety, depression and even suicide, show how toxic this practice of sexism is.

The toxicity of this practice is now claiming the decency of its practitioners turning them into monsters who seek pleasure out of hurting others based on their sex, while at the same time claiming the mental health and lives of its victims.

And so the need to eradicate this practice of sexism becomes essential so as to retain the harmony of the society.

Ways to Eradicate Sexism

Every problem brings with itself solutions for its own eradication…. every hurdle in our path comes with the tools and methods of having that hurdle removed from our path.

And this problem of sexism is no different than any other hurdle humanity might face, for, there are ways that sexism discreetly brings with itself that can be adopted to eradicate sexism by pulling it out of our social system from its roots that are dug deep in our society.

To begin with, one way to eradicate sexism is by the way of “finding a solution within the problem”, which is, in this case, the solution of finding a balance— social scrutinisation of ones behaviour is essential, as humans are but social animals and without scrutiny of the way one behaves might lead to the people with sadistic tendencies to commit forbidden acts without any filters whatsoever, which might consequently lead to an increase in crime rate. And so, even though, society must keep up with lenient scrutinisation of the behaviour of individuals— drawing lines between that what’s legitimately right or wrong—the society must take to giving up the rigid and complex gender-based rule-book of judgment for the world of individual scrutinisation, for, the scrutinisation of one’s behaviour shouldn’t be restricted to rigid rule-book norms that refuses to see a person outside the caricature of his/her biological sex.

Next solution is establishment of a balance between all the sexes. No sex is inferior to the other as every gender has its own powers and weaknesses. Following the practice of sexism, turns this balance into a see-saw, as each side tries to put more strength on its side to show its superiority and prominence over the others. And so, finding a balance among all genders can effectively reduce the effectiveness of sexism as the battle to prove ones gender better by pulling the other’s gender down would cease.

Thirdly, we need to introspect our words and behaviour, in order to check for any signs of sexist approach in our actions, so, that we can identify those signs and work to scratch them off of our lives.

And finally, the most important way of eradicating sexism is by adopting the policy of not letting anyone dictate your narratives or weigh your spirits down even if people around you try to laden heavy baggages of sexist approach directed towards your personal actions. Practising self-love and self-confidence and remaining unfazed by the way people try to judge you based on your gender is the prime key of fighting against and eradicating sexism from its roots from our society.

My Article Concluding Words

This world is not perfect and neither are we because perfection is but just a myth. But we can definitely strive hard to become better versions of ourselves to work towards the larger goal of making the world a better place to live in. And to do so, we need to pick each vice existing in our society and pluck it out… this time around let us strive to pluck out and chuck this bad “-ism” of sexism away from our social system, in order to establish a fair balance between individuals of all sexes and to promise ourselves and everybody around us a life of harmony that has no hints of darkness-causing sexism, for, questioning ones life choices in a derogatory manner, cracking jokes about ones partner and looking at someone with a raised eyebrow on hearing about their “uncommon” life choices wont get us anywhere. However, holding hands and moving ahead, matching our steps with each other without any sex-based bias blocking our paths is what shall hopefully push us forward towards a better and brighter future— one where harmony would exist between people of all genders without even the slightest hints of envy or superiority complex between members of different sexes.