Normality Shouldn’t Be Empty

This thought has plagued me for quite a while now. I often find myself wondering if others feel the same or if perhaps, I am just weird and incapable of keeping up with the times. The truth is, I do not want to keep up with the times if normality is increasingly becoming more and more empty. Like many others, I am on Facebook and Instagram. However, I refuse to jump onto the Snapchat bandwagon. I have come to terms with the fact that social media leads to human interaction in 2020, and even more so during a global pandemic. However, the thing that frustrates me most is that people seem to be losing themselves without even realizing it. I feel that people are becoming less comfortable with showcasing their imperfect selves but instead focusing on creating a shallow, fickle persona to showcase.

The saddest part about this is that, ultimately, people want to be liked and accepted, so many choose to highlight the superficial and diluted aspects of who they are to gain this validation. Despite being the most technologically connected generation of all, we also have the highest number of people struggling with loneliness and depression. This statistic remains true even before the pandemic; the pandemic just made it worse. Can you blame people, though? The “likes” will never be enough because you will never know if they like you or just the version of you that you have created.

What led me to reflect on this is that I did not flinch when I posted a picture of my eggplant parmesan as my story (and I probably should have felt weird about that). I felt like an oddball for posting about a personal story, success, a struggle, or something inherently vulnerable. I actively rebelled against these thoughts and posted what I wanted to anyway. Why did I do this? Because I sifted through enough filtered selfies, mirror pics, squatting videos, and boomerangs of margaritas each day to feel worthy enough of posting my preferred content. If that makes me weird, then so be it.

I follow some great people on Instagram, and I have a wide range of friends on Facebook from various chapters of my life. I often come across posts from old classmates, teachers, previous co-workers, and people I have met traveling. Unfortunately, most of the posts I come across while on these social media platforms bore me because they lack any real substance. For that reason, it makes me happy when I come across the occasional post, exuding authenticity and depth. I appreciate being able to genuinely stay in the loop via social media because it is not so easy to do so with varying life obligations and geographical distance.

I enjoy reading about what people have achieved, as well as what trials they may have faced. It is not because others’ misfortunes make me happy, but because I believe it is important to connect with people over things that matter. Not one of us is happy every single day or exempt from hardships, so why should discussing these realities be taboo? Life is great sometimes; other times, it can be downright awful.

The truth is that each one of us is experiencing ups and downs regardless of our interests or our social classes.

I may not be able to connect with you based on your music taste, a favorite show, choice of beer, or your preference on how to spend a Friday night despite that being what your Instagram story shows me. Still, I can identify with and understand you solely because you are going through the human experience. Transparency reminds others that we are flawed humans living imperfect lives, just like them.

Honesty is disarming because it gives people the opportunity to understand you instead of resorting to competing with you or judging you. Being open and sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings does not make you exempt from gossip and judgment; in fact, it probably gives people more grounds to do both. The truth is that negative people will remain negative, ignorant people will continue to gossip, and people who are committed to disliking you will continue to dislike you, regardless of what you say or do. The real appeal of providing meaning to your social media presence and your interactions is because you put yourself in control of the narrative. People can take it, or they can leave it, either feeling that they relate to you or they do not. It clears your path for the people who like you for the unfiltered version of you with a story, a distinct personality, and a voice. These factors, all being foundations for friendship and signs of genuine compatibility long before the internet even existed.