The Keys to a Healthy and Fulfilling Sex Life with Dr. Tara
Regarding sexual and relational wellness, Dr. Tara is a name to know. A professor of sexual and relational communication at Cal State University, Fullerton, a relationship coach at Love Bites, and the host of the Love Bites Podcast, Dr. Tara brings expertise, humor, and refreshing honesty to every conversation. She's been featured in Women's Health, Cosmopolitan, and more, and her upcoming textbook on sexual communication is set to become a go-to resource for anyone wanting to enhance their relationships.
This season, we sat down with Dr. Tara to discuss navigating dating, relationships, and building a fulfilling sex life—especially for those exploring their options and "auditioning" partners during cuffing season.
Meet Dr. Tara
"Whatever makes you happy—you do you," Dr. Tara emphasizes. Unlike traditional approaches to relationship coaching, she focuses on helping individuals align with their unique goals. Whether that's finding a stable friends-with-benefits arrangement, prioritizing career growth while exploring casual relationships, or pursuing long-term love, her approach is refreshingly nonjudgmental.
"I'm not here to push you toward a monogamous relationship, marriage, or kids unless that's what you want. My role is to help you identify what makes you happy and then work with you to achieve it."
Dating in Your Late 20s and 30s
For women in their late 20s and 30s, dating can feel like an uphill battle, especially for ambitious, career-driven individuals. Dr. Tara acknowledges this frustration:
"Dating at this stage of life can bring a lot of exhaustion and disappointment. We're no longer in our early 20s, where we'd settle for less or invest too much time in the wrong people. Women in their 30s are flourishing—they're successful and focused. But that can make finding the right match even tougher."
She advises shifting your mindset to prioritize compatibility and shared values over superficial factors. "You don't need someone who's intimidated by your strength. You need a partner who celebrates it."
Online Dating Fatigue is Real
For many, online dating is the primary way to meet potential partners, but it's not without its challenges. Dr. Tara coined "online dating fatigue," explaining how endless swiping and superficial interactions can damage mental health and productivity.
"Spending just 20 minutes in the morning on a dating app can leave you feeling distracted and tired throughout the day, especially if the conversations aren't meaningful or engaging."
If you're facing online dating fatigue, her advice is to:
Set Boundaries: Limit your time on dating apps to avoid burnout.
Be Intentional: Skip the small talk and dive into meaningful conversations.
Take Breaks: If apps start to feel like a chore, pause and focus on in-person connections.
Keys to a Healthy and Fulfilling Sex Life
Dr. Tara emphasizes that a fulfilling sex life starts with self-awareness and open communication.
Know What You Want:
Reflect on your goals and desires. Whether it's casual exploration or a serious relationship, clarity is key.
Communicate Openly:
Talk to your partner(s) about your expectations, boundaries, and fantasies. "Sexual communication is vital—it's not just about asking for what you want but also listening to what your partner needs," says Dr. Tara.
Prioritize Your Pleasure:
Dr. Tara firmly believes in exploring your body to understand what brings you joy. "How can you expect someone else to satisfy you if you don't know what you like?"
Create Safe Spaces:
Ensure that your relationships are built on trust and mutual respect, making room for vulnerability and growth.
Cuffing Season and "Auditioning" Partners
As we dive into cuffing season, Dr. Tara offers advice for those who are "auditioning" partners:
Keep an Open Mind: Exploring multiple connections doesn't mean settling—it means finding what works best for you.
Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, it probably is. Don't ignore red flags.
Have Fun: Dating should be enjoyable, not a source of stress.
Tune Into the Full Interview
This is just a taste of the wisdom Dr. Tara shared with us! To hear more about building a thriving sex life, dating as a successful woman, and navigating modern relationships, check out the So She Slays Podcast.
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