Forming a Bond with Your Baby -- Why It Isn't Always Immediate
Expecting parents start imagining the moment they will get to see and hold their baby from the minute they hear the good news. Most soon-to-be moms and dads expect that they will instantly develop a connection with their little bundle of joy but the truth is that sometimes it takes time for this bond to form. Why is that so and does that mean there is something wrong? Don’t worry, it’s normal for this to take some time. Luckily, there are ways how you can encourage the bond to form. Keep on reading to learn more about the bond between a baby and its parents and some activities that you can try to create an attachment.
Why bonding is important
Bonding with your newborn is an essential part of their development. By doing this, you will provide your baby with a sense of security and self-esteem, which will lead to them trusting you and you becoming a special person in their life. A simple smile, touch, or cuddle could be all that your child needs to feel safe in order to play and explore. Giving them this safe environment will lay the foundations for their wellbeing and growth. What is more, hearing your voice or seeing your face can release hormones that encourage the development of memory, thought, and language.
Reasons why bonding can take some time
In some instances, the attachment is created immediately because most babies are ready to bond straight away. On the other hand, parents can experience mixed feelings. While some parents look into their baby’s eyes or touch their newborn’s skin and fall in love instantly, there are also those individuals that take some time to create a bond. If you belong to the latter group, don’t feel guilty but remember that this is a process that might take some time.
There are various reasons why you might feel this way. For example, parents that went through a C-section can have a hard time bonding with their child. What is more, if you couldn’t see your little one right after giving birth because they had to spend time in intensive care or because they are adopted, creating a bond might take some time but it will happen eventually so be patient.
Furthermore, some parents can’t completely bond with their newborn because they suffer from postpartum depression. You might also have a hard time creating an attachment if you previously went through a loss of pregnancy or child, if you didn’t have a positive parental figure in your life, if your relationship with your partner is problematic, and so on. Of course, we cannot neglect the effect that being in a pandemic can have on a pregnancy and your mental health. Anxiety and depression are common after constantly being bombarded with bad news and they can affect your ability to bond with your new family member.
Ways to bond with your baby
If you’re afraid that you won’t bond with your baby, don’t stress over it as there are various ways how you can create this connection. For starters, make sure you regularly hold and cuddle your little one. Try the skin-on-skin approach or carry them around in a sling. If they’re born prematurely, ask if you can visit them in the intensive care unit and see them as simply talking to them can help you bond.
Just talking in a soothing tone can also help your newborn recognize you and feel safe. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, as long as you are speaking reassuringly. Singing can contribute here as well. While talking or singing to them, make sure you are looking into their eyes. Additionally, making facial expressions will lead to them connecting words and feelings.
Then, you want them to feel physically safe so make sure their head and neck are properly supported when you hold them. Moreover, you can wrap them up and recreate the secure environment of the womb. You can even look into baby massages as babies often respond to them.
Finally, you cannot neglect your partner’s need to bond with the little one. So, make sure both parents get some quality time with the baby and let your significant other feed the baby and sing to them as well.
Bonding doesn’t always happen immediately. Sometimes, you will have to put in some effort. This is a complex process that can take time. While there is no magic formula, over time, you and your baby will be more comfortable around each other and you’ll get the amazing experience of being a parent.