Read this if you strive off being "busy" 24/7

I will be the first to admit it; the busier I am, the more successful I feel. I'm not saying that's healthy because it's not, but we all have flaws. I know hard to believe. I get a rush of endorphins when I have a jam-packed day—the more to do, the better. I love the hustle. I view it as a challenge. I like seeing how far I can go. However, starting this school year, I took a step back and asked myself, "Do I love being busy, or Do I just associate my success with how busy I am that day?" I called myself out on my bullshit. I completely reevaluated everything. I really had to think about what made me happy. Was I over-committing myself to distract myself from something? Why did I base my success on being busy?

This is what I concluded. Growing up, I always craved validation, not physically but academically. I think this stemmed from being the older daughter of four girls. I always felt the need to be the best, to be a role model for my sisters. To make my parents proud. I was a nerd growing up, no doubt about it. I recognized that academics was my strong suit and clung to it like my life depending on it. Then when life got tough, I used it as an escape. When my mental health was bad, I distracted myself with books and school. However, as I grew up, the need for academic validation slowly faded away. I began to have new interests, new jobs, new friends, etc. I still strived to do my best in school, but I didn't make it a personality trait.

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Since starting college, I've worked multiple internships, jobs, extra circulars, and held positions within organizations while balancing a social life. I'm happy. That's not the issue. I genuinely love everything I am doing right now. However, lately, I have recognized that when Im not working, I experience guilt. Not an overwhelming sense of guilt, more like a little whisper in the back of my mind that's saying, "You should be doing more." I was confusing rest for laziness. I think this goes back to my need for academic validation when I was younger. I was replacing my need for academic success with being busy. Being constantly busy made me feel needed and important. THIS IS NOT OKAYYYY. Say It with me because I need to hear it. YOUR SUCCESS IS NOT DETERMINED BY HOW BUSY YOU ARE. Rest is essential, not a luxury.

When I overwork myself, I forget about why I started. I lose my passion in the hustle and bustle. If this is you too, don't worry. We live in a toxic culture of business, especially in the workplace and school. If you see someone doing something you aren't, you question your abilities. I will tell you a secret that just because someone is busy doesn't mean they're doing more than you. You could be doing the same amount of work, if not more, in a shorter amount of time. Being busy and being productive are NOT the same thing. When people are busy, it's usually because they are choosing to be.

One reason you might thrive on being busy is that it gives you an excuse to avoid emotions. When you are busy, you can't focus on what might be bothering you. You'll do anything except feel the discomfort of what is your reality. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the more you try to suppress emotions, the worse it will be when they finally reach the surface.

You might be reading this and thinking to yourself," Im constantly busy, but it's not an issue. Im fine." OK, you're fine for NOW. However, I promise you busyness will eventually lead to burnout. You can try to avoid it as long as possible, but it's coming, and it's going to rock your shit, baby. Don't push yourself to the point of breaking. Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. Become more aware of why you're busy. Are you busy because you have to be, or are you busy because you want to be? Learn the difference.

When you catch yourself overworking, take a step back and remember why you started. Take a new approach to your daily tasks and fully be present in your work. You will be amazed to see how "busy" you actually are. Ask yourself if what you're doing benefits you or if you are using it as a distraction.

Once you have reevaluated your time, learn to be OK with not having anything to do. Don't mistake-free time for failure. Fill up the time you have no working with little joys, such as going on a walk, listening to a podcast, read a book, or literally lay in bed and do absolutely NOTHING. Life isn't meant to spend working 24/7. Fuck our society that tells us otherwise.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to do absolutely nothing. You should too.