Lessons About Death I Learned In Hospitals

For nearly two years, I was a frequent patient passed amongst twelve doctors. None of them could figure out what was the cause for my many symptoms, so eventually, I stopped going and attempted to fix myself, because at that point they were considering sending me to mental therapy. The months have gone by since my last doctor appointment when I used to be going nearly every week, And I am in awe realizing that I have not felt this good in years, but most importantly I am humbled to know what it feels like to be at a human’s lowest.

The hopelessness and pain of ailing health all while being unable to be helped hurt immensely. At my physical and mental worsts I understandably pondered over the morality of mortality. One never knows the blackened abysses of the mind until they get there, so in hopes, you never see it yourself, here is what my mind came to conclusions with.

Not everyone can be helped

Unfortunately with a complicated body, you stump people. As I know firsthand, not everyone can be helped, and surely not everyone can be fixed. A 2019 John Hopkins study reported that over 100,000 Americans either become disabled or die from medical misdiagnosis. 

For Post Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) sufferers, they get their diagnosis after roughly 2 years for a crippling syndrome estimated to affect 1-3 million people in the U.S. POTS includes dealing with symptoms such as dizziness, nervousness, extreme fatigue, body aches, sleep disturbances, gastrointestinal disorders, etc. Basically, your basic body functions are unable to work correctly, hence why POTS falls under the umbrella of a disease called Dysautonomia. Dysautonomia is the dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system, affecting over 70 million people globally. 

As to why Dysautonomia patients are left without a hint of a cure is because either they are misdiagnosed or purely because the whole disease umbrella is extremely underfunded due to a lack of media coverage. While Alzheimer’s Disease affects 44 million people globally and had a 2018 new accumulated U.S. federal grant total of $1.8 billion dollars to find a cure, recent 2020 Dysautonomia research grant distributions are to be an accumulative $50,000 by the Dysautonomia Research Fund. 

Suicide is not selfish

You will often hear the cliché when someone is talking to a suicidal person, “Think about your friends, family, and the God that made you... if you’re into that.” If someone is in excruciating pain, realistically they do not care about pleasing others, they want someone to help them. 

A 2017 study performed by Elsevier found people with physical ailments are anywhere from 2-9 times more likely to commit suicide. With nearly 800,000 people following through with suicide yearly worldwide, pain for many different reasons is a real occurrence and having preexisting health conditions only adds to the list of burdens.

A huge chunk of the toxicity surrounding depression and suicidal thoughts is the fact that there are stereotypes tossed around by ill-informed people. Being depressed is not mentally weak or self-induced. Depression can also be caused by a plethora of physical factors such as thyroid disorders, cancer, chronic conditions, and heart disease. Guilt-tripping a suicidal person is the only shameful act here, not someone wanting to escape their pain. The best family, friends, and strangers can do to help a depressed person is merely just understand their pain and be ready to lend an ear.

Death is not the end

This is not a preaching of religion, science has legitimately proved our brain’s conscious being able to act outside of a dead body. There, I said it, you somehow do not fully die when you are dead. 

Existence after death even coexists with the physics Law of Conservation of Energy stating, “...energy can neither be created nor destroyed - only converted from one form of energy to another.” Our bodies are essentially clumps of atoms powered by energy, it all has to transfer somewhere. 

Wherever you believe you might go after you breathe your last humanly breath, keep your conscious open to the idea that a part of you will part from you. If you are interested in where this is going, I recommend intensively analyzing and intertwining history, religion / moral philosophy, and metaphysics. 

Moral of the story 

The three ideas above are comparable to finding limelight in the grim, but having personal beliefs you can find truthful solace in is important to your wellbeing no matter how odd they might come off to others. Always remember to keep your mind open even when you are unable to keep your head up. Perhaps you too can take your physical lows and turn them into philosophical highs.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please do reach out to the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741741 to contact the U.S. and Canada Crisis Text Line.