Make Peace with your Relationship with your Body

Do you find yourself preoccupied with your body? Nitpicking all the ways your body does not measure up? Do you get stuck in a cycle of manipulating your body through excessive exercise, restricting food choices that lead to that inevitable “forget it” moment where you binge and feel out of control with food? Do you tell yourself that you will accept yourself when you lose those last few pounds?

 Well if you do, you are not alone! Far too many women are caught in this destructive cycle. But we believe that changing your relationship with negative body image is possible!

Dig a little Deeper

 It is important to start with identifying what your body means to you. What are the beliefs and messages you tell yourself about your body? Do you idealize a certain size? What would this ideal body size actually give you? Success? Love? Attention? Respect?  

Take some time to journal what you think a certain size will give you. This is important in identifying what you are ACTUALLY searching for that has been displaced onto an unnecessary third party. Think about it, if the need is to be loved and respected, how does working out for that extra hour or choosing the more “clean” meal help you get there? It is similar to going to your dentist for an oil change- you wouldn’t. So why is body image any different? 

When having a “bad body image day,” think about what else is going on in your life. Reflect on what these underlying needs might be. It is then that you can begin to think about more helpful ways to get those needs met. Needing connection? Connect with a trusted friend. Needing respect? Perhaps gain this through your intelligence and your soul. 

 Obviously, this is easier said than done, but trying to attain this through your body has not worked thus far. I promise that this is not the answer. 

Challenge your thoughts:

Once you have begun to explore this for yourself, begin to build awareness around the negative thoughts that you tell yourself about your body. What do you actually tell yourself? When do you notice these negative thoughts show up the most? Perhaps you find yourself speaking negatively towards your body when looking in a mirror, when getting dressed, or when comparing yourself to others. What thoughts do you have in these moments? What feelings do you experience in the moment? What impact does it have after? 

Write down these thoughts and practice challenging the thoughts. How can you bring this thought to a place of neutrality? Shoot to challenge the thought to something neutral rather than positive. Thinking of the direct inverse of the negative thought will not only sound weird, but it will also be unbelievable in the moment. Begin slow and try to focus on another way to look at the situation. 

For instance, if you find yourself preoccupied with the size of your legs, perhaps instead of saying “my legs are disgusting and huge” saying “my legs carry me to places I need to go. They allow me to go on a walk with my family or pet.” Thinking of something more neutral is more believable and also helps shift perspective from self-deprecation to gratitude and appreciation. 

Gratitude letter to your body

Write a thank you letter or letter of gratitude towards your body. Take some time on this one, think of all the things you value and enjoy in life and in your relationships. This would be impossible without a physical vessel to carry you through. Express gratitude for having a body that functions- for lungs that continue to breathe, for lips that allow you to speak, for legs that carry you forward.  

Read this letter when you find yourself ruminating on self-defeating thoughts.   

Get away from the mirror and engage in what really matters to you!

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” –Buddha 

 Contributors Bio:

We are Semhar and Joanne, two clinicians passionate about helping people find a healthier relationship with themselves, others, and in the world. We believe that shedding light on mental health issues can further break the stigma that people carry with them daily.

We want to create a safe space and community for learning, awareness, prevention and healing. We firmly believe that you are worthy of living a life full of meaning and authenticity. We want to put health and fitness in their rightful place while women’s worthiness and value at the forefront. We hope to normalize the human experience and spark many good conversations and offer hope to our readers.