You Can't Break My Soul
Well, I am here to talk about being a woman of color. I know. I know it's getting a little repetitive (redundant?) to hear about the nuances... the story is as old as time, but unfortunately, we will always talk about it. Not because we want to but because we have to, so we can start making fundamental changes.
If you feel isolated, under-appreciated, or constantly the subject of criticism, welcome to the women of the color club. As women, we often have to find our voice, but as women of color, we see things through different lenses. Yes, we might sound overly sensitive about this, but we should be allowed to be sensitive. We must constantly pretend these issues are not detrimental to our mental health. We put on a smile that hides a world of pain. Yeah, it sucks. I know. I do it to hide my pain all the time.
As a woman, you face constant criticism or, let me use corporate jargon - "healthy feedback and recommendations" from male peers, which is nerve-wracking. As a woman of color, you also often receive "healthy feedback and recommendations" from women who do not see how their words will affect you. If you give them the same feedback and recommendations, they often react with anger, defensiveness, or crying. All we can do as a woman of color is grit our teeth and smile.
Don't get me wrong, feedback and constructive criticism can be, in most cases, helpful for your professional development. But sometimes, the feedback veers into malice. We all know the difference between malice and genuine concern. And not just because someone says, "oh, it's because I care about you." That's bullshit. As they say, actions speak louder than words. What people do behind closed doors at work is more important than what they say to you face to face.
The way to overcome these difficulties is to self-reflect and take control of your work and career development. We all know we have things we need to fix, and we should take accountability for our shortcomings. But remember, "healthy feedback and recommendations" is subjective and can come across differently to different audiences, and that's okay. If you have a moment in your career when "healthy feedback and recommendations" didn't hit right with your soul, just look back and see if these things have been brought to your attention at previous companies. If the feedback mentioned has been a recurring issue, then yes, you will need to take the reins and make some damn changes. But if this has not been a problem before, take it with a grain of salt and challenge yourself to prove your haters wrong. Everyone will experience the dreaded "workplace hater," but let the bullshit from them fuel your soul. Become the best version of yourself in the workplace and prove them wrong.
In the words of Beyonce, "You can't break my soul."