New Year, Different Me

New year, new me.

There’s that infamous phrase that haunts us every new year. The idea that because it’s time to buy a new planner, we have to become a new person. 

We buy new notebooks, workout clothes, gym memberships, and books to create this new version of ourselves, only to have these new items eventually tossed away, discarded, much like our resolutions. The workout plan stops, the diet is broken, and your ex’s number gets unblocked. (I’m definitely not speaking from personal experience here.) 

While I love the motivation, the excitement, and the urge to clean every inch of my room that the new year brings, I sometimes get discouraged by all of this.

Opening up social media, I see people who have found the motivation to “rebrand” themselves. They have set their intentions, and their resolutions are standing solidly. They know exactly what needs to change. 

After I see these people on social media, I don’t always feel the best. I feel like the new year can bring about a lot of pressure. What is supposed to be a time of reflection can often become a time of discouragement. I know for myself, I’ve often spent the new year thinking about everything I need to change, and everything I could do differently. I get so caught up in the idea of changing myself for the new year, and how I need to change what I eat, what I wear, and how I spend my time. I need to eat more fruits and vegetables and eat out less. I definitely need to have less screen time and could always be reading more. I need to start standing up for myself more, start setting more boundaries, probably see my therapist more…

You get the idea.

I’ve gotten so swept up in my own rebranding, I’ve forgotten the point of the new year. 

I don’t need to completely rebrand myself into this new person, who suddenly isn’t the world’s biggest people pleaser and wakes up every morning at five am. I don’t need to be this brand-new person with brand new habits, who has changed almost every part about themselves to be “better.” 

I think I want to aim to just be a different version. I’m going to shoot to be a slightly better version of myself. Not a whole new, unrealistic version of myself that I know deep down I’ll never meet. Just a different version. One who recognizes what she likes about herself, and what she could work on. 

So, this year, let’s take the pressure off ourselves. Let’s keep the motivation and the excitement going, and also just aim to be a different version of ourselves. A version of ourselves who has grown, who knows what they want, and also knows forgiveness. 

New year, different me.