Ask Sanyu, A New So She Slays Weekly Series
Ask Abby? Uh no, ask Sanyu.
We all remember those columns in the newspaper and magazines growing up…yes those old things! Well we’ve wanted to bring something similar to So She Slays for a while but we were having trouble finding someone who could speak on tough topics that had the smarts, life experiences, and open mind to give the best advice.
With the help of Sanyu we finally have someone for you Slaynation. She is here to help us with all those crazy, worrisome, what do I do moments in life.
BUT before we start spilling all our tea we think it’s only fair that we get to know the powerful woman helping us through these questions.
Who is Sanyu?
My name is Sanyu Estelle. I am a Claircognizant ("clear knowing") Soothsayer ("truth-teller") that is also known as "The Word Witch" because of my deep love for word origins (etymology) and word culture (philology). I also identify as a pigmented (82%), womanist (as constant as the tides; word to Alice Walker), cissy (femme and fem), flexible asexual (it's a spectrum, seems unwise to call it), travel-apt (Earth is a country) and fashion-forward (Funk Flag Flyage) SSJW (Sarcastic Social Justice Warrior).
Name a few defining life moments.
I was born to my parents and that was major. I have always appreciated Earth even when I have questioned humanity and that provided us with both perspective and equilibrium.
Unbeknownst to my parents I only applied to East Coast colleges and Spelman even though I was born, bred, and buttered in Los Angeles. I am the youngest of three and needed to break out of the nest. Four years of upstate New York (where I studied Sociology and Political Science) led to three years in the Netherlands (where I studied Criminology and Penology) with intermittent stays in NYC. I am now back home in Los Angeles from Fall 2016.
My Dad passed away from multiple cancers in January 2020 after a misdiagnosis and a rapid transition. He always wanted me to be a vocalist even though I always joked with him he was one of the only fathers in the world to encourage that of his kid. For most of my life, I chose to pursue other things. But when my Dad transitioned into the spirit and then Covid hit I had a lot of time on my hands and feels on my consciousness. So I ended up writing an entire 15-track debut album called Good Grief that my Dad definitely helped me within spirit! You can stream it everywhere. May it be cathartic to you too!
What do you struggle with?
Being present enough in my day-to-day experiences to catch when I am co-signing beliefs, behaviors, and attitudes I do not prefer. Regardless of whether others choose to inhabit perspectives I do not prefer or appreciate, I am only responsible for myself. When I can stop fixating on the doing of others, I become much better at conducting myself.
Where do you find your power?
I am my power. I am the only me to ever be me. No one will ever be exactly like me again in this Universe and that is a privilege beyond imaging. I make myself up every step of the way that I choose to be Earthside. Existence, even though it is Infinite, saw fit to include me within itself. But I get to determine the why even as it determines the how. There is no greater superpower to a human being than true Free Will. The etymology of which literally means, "to love to choose." I am grateful for the opportunity to be me.
Why start “Ask Sanyu” with So She Slays?
As a Soothsayer and Reader, I receive a lot of questions from people about life, perspective, and beliefs. I love to be able to answer questions for people in a way that shows them how much of the answer they already have within them. Often, I am just a clear mirror for others to be able to reflect upon themselves with.
I have been searching for a while for the proper official channel to share my skills with and it wasn't until I came across the staff page of So She Slays that I felt I had finally encountered a group of people who actually reflected the diversity they claimed. It's important for me that the people I work with don't wantonly or ignorantly play into the Supremacy Ideation and inventions of White Cisheteropatriarchy. With So She Slays, I feel supported in that intention.
What do you want to help the slaynation audience with?
I want the Slaynation audience to help me, help them be okay with the fact that they too are alive. In fact, I would love to help them be jubilant about it. Yes, it is absolutely possible for you to reach that place within yourself. Trust! Not because I just say so, but because I live my ethos. I will lead by example and I will reflect with care. No question is too small or too embarrassing. Essentially, I am your Gen Y "Dear Abby." Only, my Sun and Mercury are in Pisces (in the 2nd house) and my Venus is in Aquarius (in the 1st house) . . . so I was born with Gen Z harmonics built-in.
Where do you pull your advice from?
Everything and anything. All forms of observation are valid, but my opinion is that experience is the only science that is actually exhaustive. I am willing, always, to learn from what's happening regardless of my belief systems. I will suspend my disbelief to better understand something. I am also likely to call on both Taoist and Ifa principles as those are two spiritual practices that I follow. Besides being claircognizant, I am also a studier of sociology, political science, ontology, philosophy, criminology, penology, etymology, and philology. I am fortunate enough to have parents that raised me well and siblings that socialized me from the jump. Any number or combination of these things is likely to make it into the "Advice Well" that the Slaynation can draw from.
What is your one goal in life?
ONE GOAL?! Hehehe. I'm a Pisces. I'm too fluid for one thing. But one activity that I always want to be participating in is being myself, to the best of my ability, as authentically and sincerely as possible with the greatest attempts at both joy and integrity. When I manage to do that, I'm being the best me I have to offer everybody.
Ask Sanyu will be a weekly series on So She Slays. You can submit questions on all of our social media platforms via messaging, in Instagram stories when you see her picture pop up, and via email (hello@sosheslays.com). Make sure to put ASK SANYU in the content of your message or email. Answers will be posted weekly right here on the So She Slays blog!