Bachelor Slaytion: Final Thoughts on Peter's Season
Better late than never, right? Isa and Shelby here, back for our final article of Peter’s season. It took us a while to process all of the shit that went down these last two episodes, sue us. So instead of making you sit through a recap of the trainwreck of the century, better known as Peter Weber as the bachelor, we’re going to leave you with our thoughts on the finale and this season as a whole. Let’s break it down, because what else are you going to do during this quarantine?
Hannah Ann. Period.
As we all know, Peter left the show engaged to Hannah Ann. We could tell this engagement was going to be rocky when Peter literally said the name of his ex-girlfriend during his proposal. Does anyone else think it was clear that he was more in love with Madison the whole time? We digress. Back to Hannah Ann, who we all thought would be the villain this entire season, but ended up as one of the most badass women to ever walk off the show. She gave Peter the lecture he has desperately needed all season on After the Final Rose. “[You said that] you wished more than anything we had met outside of reality TV. How does that make any sense? You signed up to be the Bachelor. You told me these things that I held onto. If you want to be with a woman, you need to become a real man." We don’t even know what to say after that. She really ended him in front of Chris Harrison, his family and all of America. Hannah Ann is the hero we didn’t know we needed.
via Giphy
Madison
All season, we would have put a lot of money on Madison ending up engaged to Peter at the end of this. Good thing we didn’t though, because she left since she couldn’t see an “easy” future with him. There were too many differences between them. Like how Madison is very religious and Peter is a 28-year-old man with mommy issues. Fast forward a few weeks and they’re somewhat back together at ATFR. Public enemy number one, Barbara Weber, single handedly made herself the most hated woman in America by attacking Madison that night. Even though Peter and Madison broke up after about three days of being back together, we respect Peter for kind of standing up to his mother for probably the first time in his life. Now, Madison is living her best life making Tik Toks with Selena Gomez and the Auburn basketball team. We knew she’d be just fine without him.
via Instagram.com/madiprew
B**b.
We cannot even begin to describe our hatred for Barbara Weber after these two episodes. Any respect we ever had for her from that teaser clip of her crying is GONE. Speaking of that moment, we also would have bet a lot of money that Barb was crying over Madison, and not Hannah Ann.
via Twitter.com/BrettSVergara
To put it plainly, Barb fucked up. Maybe she just wanted to be famous, maybe she’s just genuinely a bitch. Either way, she went from the funny mom cheering on her son’s four rounds in a windmill to trending on Twitter, and not in the good way. We obviously cannot go without mentioning Mr. Weber. Peter Sr., blink twice if you’re being held hostage. “Di algo mal, ayudame” anyone? Barb, half of this country speaks Spanish and you’re WEARING A MICROPHONE. Did you really think we weren’t going to hear you whisper “say something bad, help me” to your husband? SMH.
via Giphy
Peter
We finally understand why Peter kept all those crying and manipulative women around for so long. He was clearly raised to think that crying and manipulation is normal. *cough* Barb *cough*. This was a waste of a season. We’ve said it once - actually we’ve said it in every single article we’ve written - but we’ll say it again, Peter sucked as the bachelor. All of that aside, we’re sure Peter is a good guy. He’ll find his true love once he moves out of his parents’ house, and probably after a whole lot of therapy. We’re wishing you the best, Peter, you’re still super hot.
via Instagram.com/pilot_pete
Thank you so much for listening to us ramble about this show. We appreciate every one of you for clicking on our articles week after week. We hope you enjoyed reading these because we had a lot of fun writing them. Bachelor in Paradise seems up in the air right now, but if it happens, and you want recaps, we’ll be back. Stay safe and STAY HOME. See you soon.
xoxo Isa and Shelby