Bachelor Slaytion - Week 7 Recap: Hometowns

It’s hometowns, baby! This week’s episode took us across the country - but actually kind of just to the south - to the girls’ home towns. We loved these two hours of drama and overplayed protective father tropes.

The first hometown date is with Hannah Ann in Knoxville, Tennessee. Hannah Ann explains that Peter will have to impress her father who is in the lumber industry. We’re not sure why the fact that he is in the lumber industry is so important but they said it about ten times so it must be. Hannah Ann says she wants to make a man out of him. Where have we heard this before? 

They go axe throwing and they both suck at it. After making out with literal weapons in hand, things start to get really cringe-y. Remember that list that Hannah Ann made of the things she loved about Peter? Well he made her one too. Barf.

Peter seems a little nervous as they arrive at Hannah Ann’s childhood home. They meet her mom, dad and sister. As per usual the only one that gives the bachelor a problem is the father, a.k.a. “Ranger Rick”. He explains to Peter that he doesn’t want him to waste his breath letting his daughter know that he’s falling in love with her if he doesn’t actually see her as “the one”. Which is definitely fair, but we can’t help but think Peter might screw this up.

Hannah Ann chats with her sister - who looks like a model straight out of a 2008 Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue - and she shows her the list Peter made. Hannah Ann says she really thinks she can see herself falling in love with Peter, which is definitely different from Peter saying he is falling in love with her. But then she decides that she is definitely falling in love with him. Confused? Good. Us too. Onto the next one.

We are now in Des Moines, Iowa, Kelsey’s hometown. We’re expecting a lot from this date considering how many times Kelsey has brought Iowa up in conversation. They are making wine from scratch on this date. Straight up stomping grapes with their bare feet. And of course making out while they’re doing it because it’s Peter. After stomping the grapes and comparing their relationship to flavors of wine, they are tasked with having to name their wine. Peter’s brilliant idea is to call it “Wine”. Good one, Pete. Then, despite his utter lack of any creativity, Kelsey tells Peter she is in love with him.

At Kelsey’s house, Peter meets her mother, step father and her two sisters. Her mom gives Peter a very serious talking to and tells him not to break her daughter’s heart. We are loving this midwestern mom energy. Kelsey’s sisters are freaking out that she “actually brought Peter home”. She had to? That’s how this show works girls! 

Next, Peter goes to Auburn, Alabama and spends the day withMadison. This date is already a fairytale as they walk hand in hand through the Auburn University campus. They play basketball and the head coach of the team comes out to tell Peter that he had better take care of Madison. Hell yes, head coach! Protect Madison at all costs. 

via Twitter.com/bachelor_fan101

The date continues and they meet Madison's family for dinner. This family is so southern and adorable. Can we get a special plate? The conversation between Peter and Madison’s father gets weird and intense when her father keeps mentioning that she is “pure”. Definitely an interesting thing for a father to say but we know this family is close. This is when we find out that Madison is saving herself for marriage. She knows she needs to tell Peter, but does not know how. Peter says that he loves Madison but doesn’t actually tell her. Come on, Pete! She’s falling in love with him too, and their fairytale lives to see another day.

 Finally Peter is in Victoria’s hometown, Virginia Beach, Virginia. They spend the day on the beach and go to a private Hunter Hayes concert (who Victoria did not date - as far as we know). The lyrics to the song are literally “I don't want easy, I want crazy” which is way too appropriate for Peter this season. Of course, it wouldn't be a Victoria one on one if without any drama. Marissa, an ex girlfriend of Peter’s who just happens to live in Virginia Beach approaches him after the date. Her face is blurred and she explains that she used to be a close friend of Victoria’s and that Victoria has broken up many relationships in the past. Marissa warns Peter to be careful with Victoria, and that he is too good of a person for her. Keep in mind we feel like every episode has been a warning sign that Victoria should be sent home, but Peter has yet to pick up on it. 

As he arrives at Victoria’s childhood home he confronts her about the concerns Marissa brought up. She reacts like a child, gets all defensive as a coping mechanism and starts being so rude to Peter. This is pure gaslighting and manipulation. RED. FLAGS. EVERYWHERE. She says things like “excuse you what” and “I’m literally so f****ing done” to the cameras. Generally when people get super defensive in these situations it’s because they’re guilty as hell. She doesn’t get a full hometown date because she wasted it fighting with Peter. Peter leaves without meeting her family, and we are so sure that this is the end of Victoria F.

via Twitter.com/natklenzman

But the next day, Victoria goes to Peter’s hotel room in an attempt to convince him to keep her around. This girl really knows when to turn on the tears. And Peter really falls for it every time. Now we’re not so sure where he stands, but we have a feeling he “wants crazy”, to quote Hunter Hayes.

Time for the rose ceremony. Shocker, it’s in an airplane hangar. The women arrive and get pep talks from Chris Harrison. What we wouldn’t do for a pep talk from Chris Harrison. Peter shows up and you can just tell he’s about to make some stupid decisions. The first roses go to Hannah Ann and Madison. It’s down to Kelsey and Victoria, and we have a bad feeling about this. Because Peter is thinking with anything but his brain and has a fetish for drama, he picks Victoria. Poor Kelsey told him she loved him and is getting sent back to Iowa.

via Twitter.com/caramils1

Peter announces that they’re headed to Gold Coast, Australia. WTF! What is the budget on this show? Madison realizes that next week is fantasy suites and she has to have an important conversation with Peter. We guess she doesn’t want to fly all the way to Australia for him to expect something of her, so she grabs him to chat as he is on his way out. We will see how this goes down next week. Xoxo Isa and Shelby