Rule #1: Success Slayers Don’t Play Victim

The number one rule for success is to always show up as the warrior, not the victim.  That means ditching the mindset that life is happening to you, not for you.  That means being fearless in the face of any and all circumstances EVEN when you cannot see the end results.  If you can reframe your mindset to the idea that all will work out in your favor, regardless, then you can reframe your energy to embrace all that is going right instead of focusing on all that is going wrong.

Easier said than done? Yes.  But, the more you draw attention to this practice, the more it will become habitual.  Your mind, just like any other muscle in your body, needs to be exercised in order to get stronger. So, let’s start building it today!

Feel, Don’t React.

Emotions are essential pieces of our nature.  They can feed the most beautiful of scenarios or the absolute ugliest of scenarios.  And it all comes down to one thing- the way we react.  

People tend to point fingers at the emotions themselves, like they are the problem.  They will talk about emotions as if they are bad, that we need to hide them or shy away from their presence.  But that’s not necessary, or even healthy. Feeling your emotions is important! Emotions are the driving force behind any passion in life, it’s the assessor of security and boundaries, and our motive for creating.  Emotions are vastly important when it comes to success. What needs to be on our agenda isn’t to rid ourselves of emotions, but rather to manage the way in which we react to them. Majority of life isn’t what happens, it’s how we respond to it.  This means you are entirely in control of your circumstances at every given moment. Powerful, right?  

In my opinion, there are two responses—victim or warrior.

Victims will let their emotions control them.  They feel anger and will use it as a destructive force.  They feel sadness and will use it as a depressor. They feel joy and will use it as their sole dependency.  Victims become powerless to their surroundings and do not take ownership of their actions. They have little to no say in what happens or how they respond.  Often times, victims will drive away many opportunities for success based on their anxiety, fear, and poor self-control.  

Do you relate to this? I know I still find myself reacting out of reflex, it’s a constant project, because our normal, automatic response is to act out of impulse.  However, the challenge here is to remind yourself that not everything deserves an immediate response. You have the power to take that emotion that arises and sit with it until you can think rationally.  Reacting out of impulse will only feed the emotion and create more energy just like it.

Step away, then come back to it.

Set Clear Boundaries.

Victims tend to have very weak boundaries. They aren’t certain with themselves about what they do and do not want.  Which makes it awfully gray to others as well. Being soft about setting boundaries will lead to many victimized situations.  It will feel like you are constantly being disrespected, negotiated with, and all around pushed aside. Instead of blaming the other party, check in with yourself about your boundaries.  Where do you stand? Do you even know? If you don’t immediately know what your limits, morals, and beliefs are, then you will quickly jump to the defense when others don’t exhibit their appreciation for them.

This is a time to get real with yourself so that you can get real with others.  Warriors are willing to go to suit up for what they deserve, they have strong voices and establish boundaries in ways that are respected.  It’s vital to your energy to establish rock solid boundaries and translate them to those in your life. It will save you the stress of putting yourself in situations that will leave you feeling triggered and prone to reacting in undesirable ways.

Have More Faith Than Fear.

The main take away here is to always have more faith than fear.  When life gets tough, remember the times when you were in similar situations where you felt like things were too heavy to handle. Did you make it through?  Did things turn out better than you expected? Did you grow stronger from it? It’s always a yes. And if pattern repeats, this situation you are going through will turn into something beautiful, also.  It can be hard to remember this when life puts you in a situation that feeds your fear and forces you outside of your comfort zone. However, change is the only permanent piece in life. Therefore, let it happen the way it needs to happen.  Have faith that it’s all happening to bring you to where you are meant to be.