What If Your Money Struggles Aren’t Just About Math?
For many women, especially Millennials and Gen Z, the relationship with money goes far beyond budgeting apps and financial plans. If you've ever felt guilt over buying a coffee or panic over a surprise bill—even when you're earning decent money—you’re not alone. What if your financial stress wasn’t about poor decision-making, but something deeper?
Trauma-informed financial coach Hannah Morrell believes that for most people, money struggles are rooted not in math, but in mindset. On a recent episode of The Saucy Sleaze Podcast, she offered a refreshing, emotionally intelligent take on personal finance—and it's exactly the kind of perspective more women need to hear.
When Money and Trauma Collide
The idea that trauma can influence finances might sound unusual at first. But when you think about how many of us grew up avoiding money conversations, equating self-worth with productivity, or watching our families stress about every dollar, it starts to make sense.
According to Morrell, money trauma can manifest in two major ways. Some people hoard their money out of fear they’ll lose it. Others spend impulsively because they don’t believe it will last. Both behaviors, while opposite, stem from the same issue: a lack of safety and trust.
This kind of trauma often goes unrecognized because it hides behind what we think are just “bad money habits.” But the root of those habits is emotional—shame, fear, and survival thinking passed down through families, culture, and experience.
Rethinking the Budgeting Mentality
Traditional advice tells us to restrict spending, budget strictly, and delay gratification. But restriction, says Morrell, is often just another form of self-punishment—and it doesn’t work.
Instead, she offers a shift in language and mindset: expected spending. Rather than saying, “I can’t spend more than $100,” tell yourself, “I will spend exactly $80.” It’s a subtle change, but one that moves your decision-making from a place of scarcity to one of agency.
This method not only reduces stress—it can actually help you make better choices. When spending is intentional, not fear-based, it becomes easier to evaluate purchases based on your values instead of guilt or pressure.
Building Trust Through Everyday Spending
One of the most powerful tools Morrell recommends is surprisingly simple: ask yourself, “What is the purpose of this spending?”
Whether you’re treating yourself to a massage or grabbing takeout after a long week, this question encourages you to pause—not to judge yourself, but to reflect. Are you spending from a place of care, or from a place of escape? Does this purchase align with how you want to feel and live?
Over time, this check-in trains your brain to approach money with clarity and calm, instead of shame or impulse. It’s about making the emotional part of money real—and manageable.
At the heart of financial trauma is a lack of safety. Morrell explains that without a sense of emotional and psychological safety, we can’t make sustainable financial choices.
When we don’t trust ourselves to handle money wisely, we either avoid it or overcorrect. We may swing between over-saving and splurging, or obsessively track every penny—none of which actually creates long-term peace.
The goal, then, isn’t perfection. It’s not even discipline. It’s self-trust.
When you know you can survive a financial mistake, make values-aligned decisions, and still take care of yourself, your entire relationship with money starts to change. It’s not about restriction or indulgence—it’s about regulation, resilience, and freedom.
Practical Steps to Start Today
If you recognize some of these patterns in your own financial life, the first step is simply awareness. Don’t try to fix everything overnight—just notice. Pay attention to when you feel panic, guilt, or shame around money. Recognize those feelings as signals, not failures.
Then, try these small, manageable shifts:
Play the “expected spending” game. Choose a category—like coffee, skincare, or a night out—and set a specific amount to spend over a short time frame.
Ask “What’s the purpose?” Every time you spend money, pause for one second. It’s not about justifying the expense—it’s about being conscious of it.
Be gentle with yourself. Self-compassion isn’t weakness; it’s a skill. The more kindness you bring to your money life, the stronger your financial resilience becomes.
Money doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be wrapped in shame or stress. And you don’t have to keep living in survival mode just to make it work.
Healing your financial trauma isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about learning to trust yourself. And when you start making money decisions from a place of safety, intention, and value, everything changes.
Want to learn more about money and what could be blocking you? Take a listen to Hanna’s interview on the So She Slays Podcast below.