“Discovering Faith, True Beauty and Confidence” During and After Cancer
Written by: Karen Rice a two-time Cancer Survivor
Without question, when going through a serious illness, you learn what faith truly is, find the true meaning of beauty, and how you feel about yourself. I know this all too well because I have experienced many trials and tribulations. Through it all, I gained strength that I never knew I had and much more confidence in myself, which led me to love myself all over again. I had a new beginning, all on my own.
After going through so much, things were going well until it happened. I had a head-on collision with both breast and colon cancer, and it changed my entire outlook on life. I thought I had endured rough years before, but going through cancer was the rest of the iceberg. There is nothing like it. You wonder, what in life had you done so wrong to have this placed upon you? You began asking, why me. Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, it all became an awakening for me, in which I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. Through it all, not only did I find the true meaning of life, I found the true meaning of beauty. I still felt beautiful through all the chemo, radiation, and pain I endured. I found myself looking in the mirror even more during this time because I thought what I was dealing with would change me drastically, but as I viewed the imperfections on my body I now have to live with, over time, it got better, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embrace it. I'm still among the living; who am I to complain?
Whether dealing with an illness or negative feelings about ourselves, our lives, and our bodies, we need to be our on-cheering section. I still feel beautiful through all my mishaps, and it is real. I have come to realize that even going through such a dark time, I still have a life to live, and I will live it to the fullest. When I think about the individuals who are no longer among us due to such a horrific disease, I'm truly grateful and will no longer take my life for granted. Life is precious, and we don't realize it until we are close to losing it. When I think of the "gift of life" given to me twice over, I know I did not have a moment to waste. I would never say having or going through cancer is a gift; surviving it, and receiving a second and third chance at life, is the gift. Yet, through it all, I did not allow the disease to destroy who I am or what I stand for. I am a survivor and an example to show that it can happen and that I can go on and look and feel just as beautiful, inside and out, and it shines brighter.
Yet through my tragedies and all I had to endure, I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. I will say that the areas of my body that were interrupted will be a constant reminder I had cancer, and at times, it does bother me, I'm human, but within a moment or two, I look past it because those areas could be covered up. True beauty is within; when you feel beautiful inside, it shows so clearly on the outside. Just because I had cancer does not mean cancer had me. Women should never allow anything or any circumstance to steal our joy or self-esteem, even while cancer is taking us through many emotions and unanswered situations. At times you feel black-balled. And I for sure know with cancer, many times you are too weak to even think about your looks because you're not always feeling your best, but at times we must try, even a little bit, and fight past it and keep living. Through any tragedy, we are and always will be beautiful and unique! Women, we all know that our bodies take lickings, yet we keep on ticking.
When I look back now and see how far I've come, I have to say; I thought right away that my cancer diagnoses were a death sentence because you're not sure if I would make it. Cancer has taught me not to blink twice; my eyes are wide open, and I am living my best life. I also realized, after surviving cancer both times, that I was about to face new beginnings, new hope, do and see more with a whole new perspective on life. I share my story with others, hoping to impact someone who is ill positively or otherwise so that they can proceed with life in a whole new way. I am 66yrs of age now, and I am cherishing each day, each moment, and through it all, I feel I'm at my best. I am confident with myself, as well as grateful. I am starting over, doing things I should have done before the cancer.
One day, after one of the many surgeries I had during my breast cancer period, and I could remember it as if it was yesterday, I experienced something so real, so peaceful, something of a miracle, that I had to write it down. I turned that experience into a poem, and I called it "Peace." I took that poem, along with many others I had written; writing had become therapy for me. I hope anyone who may have the opportunity to read my poems get out of them; what I placed in them is as real as poems could ever be. My most recently published book is "Cancer, Yet Cancer Again, but I will not Die Before I'm Dead." I titled it that because I truly feel that you should not stop living because you have cancer, and that is exactly what I almost did. I heard the word cancer, and I immediately thought that's it. I am a realist, a regular everyday woman who has overcome many obstacles, which took me to write, trying to produce inspirational stories. If I had not gone through everything I did, I would have never anticipated such.
The scars and mishaps now attached to my body due to cancer are just that. They are symbols of someone else inspiration and hope. I am thankful because I would not have found my true strengths if I had not struggled. Not allowing anything to stop me. I am a true example that you can survive cancer, not once, but twice, provided you get to it in time. I am not saying all will be easy; I am not saying all will survive it; what I am saying is to have faith, fight with all you have, then hold on. I honestly believe when and if you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease such as cancer, it is for a reason. You have a purpose, and through that purpose, faith, compassion, and strength, true beauty is born.
Thank You