Lets Talk About The Invisible Disease.

Dear friends, I have the invisible disease. Shout out to Fibromyalgia. 

I am one of 1 of 10 million people who suffer from Fibromyalgia. I can honestly say this is my first open discussion of my recent diagnose. I will promise not to be too sappy or annoying. 

 In early December 2017, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Yes, I am a newbie.  Honestly, last year I suffered a lot of pain in the regards of my body. Last year, I dealt with  the after-effects of knee surgery and the recovery was more difficult then I could imagine. What started as meniscus repair surgery in 2016 became a brace, crutches and in and out of doctors office in the summer of 2017.  No one had the answer why I was still in so much pain. I took multiple tests, sat in various doctors offices and the condition was at a standstill. 

I was over the knee pain, but it seems like my body was fighting against me. I  would wake up exhausted and in the worst pain that my body could handle. I would have stiffness in my neck, back and every joint of my body. Personally, I thought it was arthritis from a car accident I had many years ago; but this time the pain was dreadful. I felt like my energy level was down, my memory was a lapse. I was at a lost on why I was in so much pain, and I couldn't even explain it. I begin having random rashes in the last few months, and feel like my body was continuously catching a cold. 

Finally, after more tests and consultations, my doctor diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.  Once and for all it all made sense. All the symptoms I had made sense. 

One of the main symptoms is called the 'Fibro Fog'.  The "fibro fog" which is a fuzzy-headed feeling that keeps you from thinking clearly. I would feel like I am lost in space when talking to people.  It started to become embarrassing.  

The worst part is dealing with the "flare-ups", which can take over your whole day or week. You are unable to move, and the pain is agonising. I suffer from spinal spasms, hands cramping and sometimes not able to walk.  I have Costochondritis; which is a part of this disease; is when your sternum is inflamed and hard to breathe and talk. 

After getting diagnosed I started to do my research and find out the musical icon Lady Gaga suffered from this disease. I watched Lady Gaga Five Foot Two Netflix Documentary, and I saw her suffered from this awful disease. Lady Gaga is a warrior. She inspires me. I know that sounds so corny but watching her fight thru this pain is inspirational. 

All I can say is that my body is attacking itself, and I feel helpless. It takes away moments away from your life.  I hate that I have to flake on obligations, dinners and concerts because I physically can't do it. I realise that I was slowly killing myself by trying to do everything, the multiple taskers, your go-to person and my body was suffering.  I am blessed to have a job that is understanding and accommodating to my condition. 

Over the past few weeks, I learn more about my self-care and know now I have to say 'no' to obligations when I am in pain.  Its hard tell your friends that I am unable to make it somewhere because I can't bear to move. They don't see the pain. Hence that is why it called the invisible disease.  (very clever). Sometimes I feel like people think I am making this up; but if you could see the intense pain I feel inside you would be like damn. 

In the past weeks, I have started a new medication program to ease the symptoms, launched a new diet and started yoga.  I have learned to make jokes about this recent diagnosis. I always crack little jokes when I am having a flare up and tell my friends "ooh the invisible has taken me out for a minute". You have to make light of the situation.

This pain will not define me, and now that this is just the beginning of a new lifestyle I will slay.