How I found my SUPER POWER!-how you can too!
Recently I heard the word intense in relation to my own personality. “Intense? I’m sweet, a little blonde with a big smile and friendly attitude. I’m not intense!” I pictured all the recent times I had met new people and how I tried not to speak about my work, tried not to overpower the conversation, tried not to become the center of attention. I considered how I showed interest and support in other people's lives and journeys, how I was mild and agreeable. I didn't think I was being intense... Intense means "in your face", "aggressive", "too much". What an ugly word. Then, the world shook underneath me, I was about to have a massive realization.
Somehow, I had internalized this view about myself that I had been told hundreds of times. This persona I’ve leveraged in the past, regrettably. The view that I was a small amicable girl who may not be made of rich substance and probably is quite normal and average in every way. This girl looks very young and probably isn't very serious. In business situations I had to over compensate with power suits and heels to gain height and respect. In the social world, I made myself small, approachable and relatable in a desire to be accepted and to make others feel comfortable. I avoided talking about the spiritual aspects of my life, the alternative beliefs I hold and my honest views on just about everything mainstream… I couldn’t even see my own falsehood!
Then I thought, well of course, at work, I’m extremely intense but that’s the appropriate avenue for it. I know that in business, I am a shark. I warn people I get involved with that I am the best partner to have as long as they can keep up with our mutual agreements, if not, I go the way of the shark… I can’t slow down or create opportunity for failure based on others. I push and I thrive and I speak with total authority because this is my zone of genius! My energy is a "get it done, now." type of vibe and I can work with intensity for long hours, tackle multiple projects and produce an insane amount of completion with every detail buttoned. I am confident here, I am aggressive here, I am comfortable here and I am in bliss here.
And again, an A-HA moment shook my core again. What are you thinking?! I was categorizing my powerful passion and focus with needing to be compartmentalized because it wasn’t a social energy, an easy energy, a comfort to others. That intensity is too much for some people so I tuck it away in my back pocket and carry on smiling I was just playing small, apologizing and downplaying my accomplishments, authenticity and my light! Most people really don't know the real me, they don't know what I believe in and they don't know my knowledge base or capabilities. I don't let them, I know they don't want to know, I know they don't want to hear. Or do they?
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this word: INTENSE and I’ve decided it’s my SUPERPOWER. I am intense because I have laser focus when I am engaged. I am intense because I have information to transmit with passion. I am intense because I am INTENSE!!! I am a passionate person, when I’m in to something, I’m in 1000% and when I’m out, I can pinpoint the facts that make it absolute for me. It’s not something I've aspired to, it’s my nature. My unarguable, unavoidable vigorous self. Direct, straight forward, authentic, right-between-the-eyes Intense! No longer will I apologize or play small to make other people comfortable.
What's the pay off for this? Owning my power, owning my abilities and living from a place of authenticity, for one. This feels amazingly liberating! Attracting more people to my life who actually resonate with the real me, not the small me. It's time for me to give people a chance, I've been afraid that I'll never fully connect with a true group of people that fully accept me if I show up as the real Marina. Those people will also be the people I resonate with, I have had a past of being involved with people I don't look up to and that is not the way I want to live my life. I want to find people of intensity and of value who can mentor me, too. People who I admire and who live their truth. The solution to a more fulfilling and honest life is so simple! All I need to do is come to terms with my real self and live through my superpower.
Not only am I going to live through it, I am going to lead with it! I am going to utilize it and leverage it because not everyone is like me and that super power makes me unique, makes me, me. I am going to attract and integrate all that this energy brings to my life and probably scare the hell out the people it doesn't... Either way, I am lighting my torch without apology! Without shame! Without shrinking! I am intense! Loud and proud of my superpower and I am challenging you to dig deep into the words you hear that surprise you, the parts of yourself you downplay or hide and the values and beliefs you feel in your heart to really find and own your very own SUPERPOWER!
Marina Sinden
Marina Sinden is a start-up founder, mentor and mother-hustler with a career background in marketing. She leads with a voice of authenticity and shares tools & practices to help others actualize their purpose through workshops, her mini-blog & speaking engagements. Watch for her book release coming in 2020!
Links:
IG @authentess
Website www.marinasinden.com