Fine Like Wine

What is your definition of beautiful?

Is it defined by your hair or your makeup? How about in the way you dress? We are a part of a generation who craves the validation of the outer appearance. If we are completely honest with ourselves, we have at one time, or another had low self-esteem based on our view of ourselves that were shaped by a shallow definition of beauty that holds little to no meaning. Inside each of our beautiful minds was once a struggle to believe that we kept the real definition of beauty all along.

Real beauty has more depth than temporary trends could ever hold. Or ever will. Often, magazine covers have been a topic of discussion, held for blame for self-esteem issues. While that may not be entirely false; we are responsible for our self- love, not celebrities in the magazines. And, as parents, it’s our responsibility to teach our children what the real definition of beauty means and what being sexy looks like, like my mother taught me. Yes, we may still have moments growing up when we have to reflect and accept the true meaning all over again, but when it’s taught to us early on, it’s easier, and there’s a higher chance that we can get there because it was instilled in us.  

Mama always said, “You can walk in a room, fully clothed and still be the most beautiful woman present.” I love that definition of beauty and the definition of sexy. I believe it. I stand by it. It’s the definition that I teach my daughters. I believe confidence and beauty are packaged in how you carry yourself, your personality. Just like mama said.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look a certain way on the outside. I love trying new lipsticks and getting my manicures and pedicures. I love different wigs and weaves. But, it’s the inner beauty that, like wine; gets better with time. There is so much depth to the true and more meaningful definition of beauty that is to be celebrated. It’s the shallow standards that are set that many unfortunately try to adhere to in their lives. It’s those same shallow standards that many often measure themselves by and doesn’t feel as beautiful as they should.
Here’s my message to all of the kings and queens as well as to the princes and princesses who are kings and queens in training: If you don’t know already, learn the true meaning of beauty. Learn to love yourselves farther than the mirror can show. It requires work. It needs constant reminders. But, if you believe you can get to that healthy balance that you so deserve; it will happen. We all have days when we don’t feel our best, but that doesn’t mean that you still, even at that moment don’t recognize the love that you have for yourself.

Throw away all of those shallow definitions that you taught yourself or that you listened to from an outside world that didn’t care to mean you well. Start today! Write down all of the things you love about yourself the inner and outer part of you. Write down things that you don’t like. Examine the things that you don’t like. Can you change it? Be honest with yourself; this is a humbling project. If you don’t acknowledge things that should be accepted, then the real work can’t start. If there are things that you can’t change, embrace it. Only then will the growth begin to take place. Enjoy the process. If you fall, get right back up again.
I made sure to include the gentlemen in this topic as well. Far too often, the issue of self-esteem is directed at women only. And, that’s understandable. But, insecurities don’t provide exemptions. 

Gentlemen, there’s nothing abnormal about you having self-esteem issues. Work on them. You’ll be happy that you did.
Ladies, from one queen to the next let your true definition of beauty be far grander than the mirror could ever reflect.