Are you dating a narcissist? Here are some Red Flags.
Swear it seems like you don’t even know until you’re three months into getting to know someone. You’re thinking, “Damn, we just get each other and it feels so right.” Then all of a sudden, things go left.
Here’s the thing, you probably already had some red flags pop up before you got to that point; you just either didn’t recognize them or ignored them for a “we’ll talk more about this later” discussion.
And honestly, sometimes you’re truly blindsided.
Regardless, why make dating harder than it needs to be? That’s part of the reason our friend, Mara Hall, wrote her book, “Love bombing. How to avoid narcissists and scammers and unlock the treasures of self-love.”
In this book, Mara goes off of her experience dating a narcissist and tells us about the red flags you should be looking for to save yourself the heartache.
The Red Flags
Love bombing
Love bombing is a tactic that narcissists use to gain control over the person they're dating or the person you're involved with, where they inundate you with love and affection, and it moves very, very, very, very, very fast. Whereas a regular relationship takes a long time to get to know someone, love bombing is totally the opposite. It will take a day or two weeks, and a person will tell you that they love you or they're gonna spend the rest of their life with you, they want to do all these big grandiose future things with you, and you probably end up hooking up fast in order to get you addicted to them fast. Dating and getting to know someone is supposed to take a while; however, a love bomber will accelerate that process in a matter of days or weeks.
Monopolizing Your Time
Are they constantly texting, calling, trying to claim and keep your attention always? Are they giving you a hard time anytime you want to take time for yourself, go out with friends, or do things for yourself? Remember, with a narcissist; it’s always me, myself, and I. A lot of times, they don't want you to talk to any of your friends, or they don't want to meet any of your friends because they know as soon as outsiders know about you two, they’ll see and point out what’s actually happening.
Mirroring
Narcissists do this thing called “mirroring” you, meaning they mirror your thoughts and feelings. Essentially feeding off your energy and giving it back to you. Telling you what you want to hear so that you fall fast. And before you ask if they know they’re doing this, yes they absolutely know they are doing this.
Their Exs
A characteristic that you see or a tendency that narcissists have is they'll talk about their former partners or their relationships, saying that that person was evil or they're stalking them or they're crazy. All that tends to be a lie because they're probably still dating that person or in some way involved with them romantically.
Gaslighting
Is a form of emotional abuse that involves intentionally manipulating or distorting the truth to instill self-doubt in someone. You could catch your narcissistic partner cheating, like walking in on them and someone else in bed and they get furious with you because you came home early from work and didn’t tell them therefore you lied to them about when you would get off work.
Empathy
Fun fact about narcissists, they tend to be attracted to people who are empathetic or have a high level of empathy. They’re trying to find their “ride or die” because that type of person will be more understanding and not question their tactics and look into the things that they do because you just accept them for who they are.
This is just a little taste of what Mara covers in her book, “Love bombing. How to avoid narcissists and scammers and unlock the treasures of self love.” Now, this isn’t just your regular “how-to” book. You cover all the signs of narcissists in a fictional story loosely based on Mara’s experience, this way you learn along with the main character.
Final words…" if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.”